Do you remember the first time you were depressed because of your body?
I am not counting any moods from when I was a teenager, because a) I wasn’t near my worst in my teens, and b) teen girls are not good judges of their own body weight. The first time I was legitimately thrown into a depression by my figure was when I was 25. At that time I was only about 180lbs. I would go on to reach 192lbs in my thirties, but at that time, 180lbs was my heaviest. I had cellulite on my legs since I was in my later teens, but thanks to plenty of warning about that phenomenon by fashion magazines, I was prepared for it to develop there. I was not, however, prepared for it to develop on my arms. But it did.
When the picture below was taken, I was home for the holidays, and I was in a great mood. It had been a number of months since I had seen my family, and I was enjoying a well-deserved break from grad school. I was very happy. I was wearing a cute top that I wore to nightclubs and parties, and some cute jeans. Before I headed out with friends, my father made us all pose for family pictures. When I saw the pictures, I was horrified by the chubby, untoned person looking back at me. I immediately went to look at myself in a mirror – the-camera-adds-ten-pounds – to reassure myself that I didn’t look that bad. Sadly, I realized I looked even worse! I realized that, in addition to being overweight and untoned, I had cellulite up the back of my arms. My arms! I had never even heard of having cellulite on your arms. But there it was. I was humiliated. And depressed about what had happened to my body. I ran upstairs and changed my top to something that covered my arms, and never wore a top that showed off my upper arms or shoulders again.
I recently stumbled across the offending top when deciding what to wear to a Halloween party. My first thought was, “I can’t wear tops that show off my upper arms or shoulders.” But then I remembered that, for the first time in my life, I actually don’t feel self-conscious about my upper arms. I decided to try it on, and, at the risk of sounding like I am bragging, I was confident enough to wear it out.
Thanks to DDP Yoga, I finally have the confidence to show off my upper arms and shoulders, and thankfully, I am mature (old) and confident enough that the only positive attention I want or need is from myself. And now I have it!
- Joey atlas Truth about Cellulite – The curse of cellulite (joeyatlas.wordpress.com)
- There’s Always Some [Yummy] Place to Go! (lizddpyoga.com)